Confuses and Unsettles Me
Confuses and Unsettles Me
A while back, I emuud an old Nintendo game called Milon's Secret Castle.
But the story was meeesed up!!!:
Okay, read the Manual--Where Milon lives, people communicate with music (like New Orleans!!! ROCK). But Milon can't talk with music, he can only RUN AROUND IN A LIL NIGHTCAP & PJS & blow bubbles of death. OF DEATH!
So POOR MUTE MILON goes to the Secret Castle to talk(?!!) to the princess (Dude! Freud! Clean up on AISLE MILON!). Also the castle is CRAWLIN WITH DEEEMONS!, and he's gotta whack them all plus buy 12 objects & find a cane & crown (WTF?) to save the princess.
One of the objects is a feather, that lets you "lose weight & ride the elevator!" LOW CARB DIET KISS MILON'S POSTERIOR! But like, there's ONLEY 1 (ONE) elevator, & you could TOTALLY do a jump to go where it goes. Evidently, shrinking to mini-me size (you gotta buy the Jar & touch the Green boxing glove...yeah, that makes senc...what the hell?) doesn't reduce your weight like the feather!! SUBWAY! That's why you pay "$40" for the feather, of course! EAT FRESH!
Anywayz--When you win the game, the princess just says how brave you were. MILON DOESN'T RESPOND, CUZ HE STILL CAN'T TALK! I guess it could be worse--I mean, if I couldn't talk, but could create death-rays or something, that'd be almost as good. I could always lazer-blast my name in the sno.w